Powerful rules to cultivate acceptance are
through continued practice in your actions and your attitude. The two things we
actually have control over.
And these rules give you the necessary
guidelines to do just that.
It might take months to rewire your brain,
but it’s well worth it.
Check them out:
1) Accept everything just the way it is.
Acceptance is perhaps the most important
attitude to overcome mental challenges in life.
It’s a state of mind. There’s no destination
or goal with acceptance. It’s simply the process of exercising the mind to be
tolerant of anything life throws at us.
Why is it powerful?
Because instead of fighting against negative
emotions like anxiety and stress, you’re actually accepting them the way they
are. You’re not bitter, and you’re not creating more negativity out of your
negativity.
Through acceptance you pave the path for
negative emotions like anxiety to become less powerful. You’re not fighting against
them and making them worse.
But to be clear: Acceptance is not the
following: It’s not indifference or apathy. It does not involve giving up or
not trying. It’s simply about accepting things without judging them.
It is what it is. Whatever happens. It’s
about being patient and allowing the natural flow of things to take place.
2) Do not seek pleasure for its own sake.
As humans, we’re unhappiest when we become
dissatisfied with what we have, and decide that we want more.
When we seek pleasure for pleasure’s sake, we
put ourselves in an endless loop of desiring that’s only temporarily satisfied
when we experience that pleasure.
But feelings don’t last forever. And before
you know it, you’ll back desire again.
This doesn’t mean you can’t have fun and
enjoy pleasure when you experience it. It just means you won’t be constantly
seeking pleasure for its own sake. You appreciate what you have in every
moment, and sometimes that will be pleasurable emotions.
But you also won’t be unhappy when you aren’t
experiencing pleasure.
3) Do not, under any circumstances, depend on
a partial feeling.
Same as above, feelings don’t last forever.
Emotions are transient. You won’t be happy all the time, and wanting to be so
will only make you unhappy.
4) Think lightly of yourself and deeply of
the world.
When you think of yourself too much, you
amplify your ego and your insecurities.
Happy people are the ones who focus on
helping others. There’s a beautiful Chinese Proverb which describes this
perfectly:
“If you want happiness for an hour, take a
nap. If you want happiness for a day, go fishing. If you want happiness for a
year, inherit a fortune. If you want happiness for a lifetime, help somebody.”
In other words: Be humble, don’t take
yourself too seriously and focus on helping others.
5) Be detached from desire your whole life
long.
Buddhism says that desiring leads to
suffering. Why? Because when you’re desiring, you’re dissatisfied with what you
have right now.
And when you get what you want, this leads
you down an endless loop of desiring.
If you can forget about the idea of wanting,
you can learn to be comfortable and gratefulfor what you have
right now, which is key to inner peace.
6) Do not regret what you have done.
Regret is a useless emotion, isn’t it? You
can’t change what’s happened. Yes, you can learn from what happened, but that
doesn’t involve experiencing regret.
I know that sometimes we can’t help but
regret things in life, but it’s important not to dwell on it. It’s useless to
do so.
7) Never be jealous.
Another useless emotion. It also means you’re
insecure with yourself, because you’re envious of someone else.
Instead, look inside yourself and be grateful
for who you are and what you have.
8) Never let yourself be saddened by
separation.
It sucks to separate from someone you want to
be with. But getting sad over it won’t help you or them.
Sometimes you just need to toughen up and
appreciate what you have, not what you lose.
9) Resentment and complaint are appropriate
neither for oneself nor others.
Again, complaining without action doesn’t
help you achieve anything. It only serves to raise your toxic energy.
And don’t let what other people do affect you
as well. You’re not in control of what they do. But you are in control of how
you react to what they do.
10) Do not let yourself be guided by the
feeling of lust or love.
This one’s probably a controversial one for
many. For me, too. I think we can all agree that you don’t want to be guided by
lust. It’s similar to chasing emotions that don’t last forever and will only
give you temporary fulfilment.
Love, however, is a different story. I don’t
know about you, but I think that love is one of the most important emotions to
be guided by. Your family is everything, whoever they are, and your life is
much more fulfilled when you do whatever you can for them.
11) In all things have no preferences.
Similar to desiring, by having preferences,
you’re not happy with what you have right now. You’re dissatisfied and unable
to enjoy the present moment.
So if you can, try not to prefer something
over something else, especially if you can’t control it.
12) Be indifferent to where you live.
If you can change where you live, then by all
means go ahead. And don’t stop looking for opportunities to do so.
But besides doing that, it’s more fulfilling
to appreciate where you are right now, rather than wishing it were different.
13) Do not pursue the taste of good food.
Interesting one. Focus on eating to be
healthy and for nourishment. Desiring delicious food can lead to addiction and
attachment. This goes for alcohol and drugs, too.
14) Do not hold onto possessions you no
longer need.
It’s easy to get cluttered with junk that you
don’t need. But if it’s not benefiting your life, get rid of it. More space and
clear thinking is what’s needed. Not more stuff.
15) Do not act following customary beliefs.
Follow your own common sense. Do what makes
sense to your own values, not what other people think. Decide for yourself.
You know what’s right and wrong. You don’t
need someone else to tell you.
16) Do not collect weapons or practice with
weapons beyond what is useful.
A tribute to his swordsman time, but we can
apply this for our lives, too. It’s better to be an expert in one thing, than
okay at everything.
17) Do not fear death.
Extremely hard to do. But it’s something none
of us will escape. We can either learn to accept that our own and our close
one’s time will eventually come, or fight against it causing anxiety and
sadness for the rest of our lives. The human body is fallible, after all.
18) Do not seek to possess either goods or
fiefs for your old age.
What good will they do you when you’re gone?
Only collect what is useful. Don’t waste your time.
19) Respect Buddha and the Gods without
counting on their help.
Take responsibility for yourself. Don’t count
on luck or god to pull you through. Tackle the endeavors you know are within
your capabilities. Keep doing the right thing and everything else will fall
into place.
20) You may abandon your own body but you must
preserve your honor.
Don’t do anything that you won’t be able to
live with for the rest of your life. Your actions define you, not your beliefs.
21) Never stray from the way.
Stay humble, do the right thing and always
keep learning and growing.